How to Make Friends In Your New Country Before You Become an Expat

I suppose expats become old hands at arriving in a country and figuring it all out. The first time sure isn't like that. It's a bit, well, daunting! Luckily, there are resources to help you!

One of the first I discovered was Expatwomen.com. I loved it because it was so beautifully organized. There were stories about life abroad as an expat, lists of expat/international women's clubs, and advice about settling into specific countries from expats who live there. My friend Sher put together the advice for the Czech Republic and it's dead on!

And how do I know Sher? Through Expatwomen.com! The coolest feature on the site is called "Your Blogs." It lists country by country expat blogs in each country. There were two others listed for the Czech Republic and I became friends with both ladies (even though, I haven't even met one of them because she lives outside of Prague!). It helps though to have a blog yourself so they can get to know you as much as you get to know them.

When I was looking at other possible countries to teach English in, the country specific blog directory was really helpful. What are those blog writers writing about in their blog? All I had to do was read the Ukrainian expat blogs to see I didn't have an interest in moving there. In Kiev, they were freaking out about keeping the heat and the lights on because of continual power outages. Next country! Not going there. I need heat.

One day I looked at African blogs. In one country, the expat were worried for their physical safety and the physical safety of people in that country. Next country! Not going there. It's an incredibly powerful resource from REAL people. Are the writers having fun? Are they being exposed to new ideas? Can they afford living there? Do the locals make them feel welcome? Does the local government treat them with respect?

So take a look at Expatwomen.com. The site is celebrating it's third birthday on January 16th - (Happy Birthday Expatwomen!) Even if the only traveling you are going to do is in your armchair. Your vision will expand as you take in other people's experiences in faraway places. You might even end up with a friend or two.

Welcome Wall Street Journal Readers

Welcome Wall Street Journal Readers! I was delighted to see my blog featured in "Blog Watch" by WSJ Online Editor James Willhite in the Wall Street Journal Technology Section yesterday. Thank you, James. I appreciate having the greatest business minds on the planet stop by and say hi!

For those of you who may have missed my mention, click on my title to go to the article. For those of you who want a bit more background on my adventure, here's an interview I did with Expat Blog Directory last fall here. For those of you who want to share my journey from here on out, welcome. The best part of blogging is the created community and friends I've made from undertaking this deeply fun endeavor.

'Empty Nest Expat' Among the Best Expat Blogs according to Tripbase

Yea! All bloggers need is a little positive reinforcement that people are reading and appreciating what they're writing to keep at it. I was astonished when I got an email that said my blog made the list of best expat blogs as chosen by Tripbase, a top travel website.

What is Tripbase and what is their mission? They use over 3,000 blogs and travel websites plus 22 million individual reviews to help travelers create a matching vacation destination to their wants. LA Times calls it "the Match.com of Travel."

I've taken a look at many of the other blogs that made the list - wow, I feel honored to be in such company.

Here's their press release about top expat blogs.

And here's their selections in other categories.

What a great place to find exciting new blogs to read. The amount of winnowing and reading the editors had to do to come up with this list is substantial. And hasn't the Internet made you appreciate the work of editors more than ever? Show me the cream! I have only so much time! I'd like to thank whichever one of my readers suggested me for this too. It made me day!

World Blog Surf Day: Try a Crunchy Warm Euro Dog

One of the top ways author Rolf Potts recommends stretching one’s dollars with the goal of seeing the world affordably in his book “Vagabonding” is to take advantage of “street” food. While wandering around Prague’s Andel metro station with a rumbling stomach one day, I saw a hot dog stand advertising Euro Dogs. I would not go out of my way to eat a hot dog in the States. But a Euro Dog…I had to try it.

There are no words to describe what an improvement it is on the American version! What is most fabulous in an American hot dog? The meat and the fixins, right? The bread is just kind of there to hold the whole thing of ketchup, mustard, chopped onions and pickle relish together. Not so with the Euro Dog!

The Euro Dog is actually vertical, rather than horizontal. Rather than laying the dog down in a trench ala American style, the Euro Dog is planted in the bun like a post in a post hole. And what bread! There are no words to describe how perfectly toasted and yummy the bread is in a Euro Dog. It’s done to a crunchy warm perfection. Because the bun is vertical, the sandwich can’t support onions (at least they weren’t offered) but there is slathered, delicious mild European mustard, not our bright yellow kind. The Euro Dog is fantastic! Cost = $3.75 or 75k.

Want to read about more expat food experiences? There are over 30 expats writing about their food adventures for World Blog Surf Day - a carnival of experiences organized by my friends Sy and Sher in Prague.

Here's the link to all who are participating in case the chain accidentally gets broken:

http://tinyurl.com/m42fvo

or if you want to keep traveling around the world to the next expat in line, a nice young woman in Prague name Sezin who shares her experiences of Ethiopian food, click here:

http://signs--of--life.blogspot.com/2009/06/food-of-gods-ethiopan-experience.html

Sher has this thing so wonderfully organized there's even an expat tweeting about World Blog Surf Day! Power to the people! Check out Anastasia, her bio and her tweets:

Twitter Home Page: Thandelike

"Anastasia Ashman (Thandelike) is an American cultural producer based in Istanbul, and is a creator of Expat Harem, the anthology by foreign women about modern Turkey. Her Tweetstream focuses on women, travel and history, and she shares resources for writers/travelers, expats, Turkophiles and culturati of all stripes. "

Real and True Blessings

I've safely arrived in Madison and am up early because I can't sleep. Maybe because it's high noon in Prague. Luckily, there's some leftover lemon chiffon birthday cake from my daughter's 21st birthday and ice cold milk.

My journey was totally awesome. Have you seen the floor at the Prague airport? It's perfect for rollerblading! They should shut down the airport for a day and just let everybody try out that floor - it's huge.

I hung out with a 23-year-old Quebecois waiting for the plane. He was so excited about the Obama administration. Wow, it's nice to hear that again. Appreciation for an American administration by someone from another country. I had to ask him about his own region's politics.

"Are you a separatist?" I asked.

"Yes. Being part of Canada is like trying to make a woman love you who doesn't want to love you. She still wants to live in the same house cause she she wants the house, and she doesn't want to be alone, but she doesn't love anymore. Quebec has been sleeping on the couch for years."

Later I asked him, "does all of Quebec use that analogy?"

"No," he said proudly. "It's mine."

My flight was booked on Swiss Air. Oh my, do the Swiss know how to pamper people. That eight hour flight went by quickly, helped by interesting passengers, a totally fantastic entertainment system, and good food and wine. It was like being cocooned for eight hours. I watched the movie "Burn After Reading" which had me rolling in my seat it was so funny.

Part of the time on the flight, I sat and mused how truly, truly blessed I am with my friends. I know I said it yesterday but to be given so much love in so short a time by so many people, it was such a gift. I could not believe the outpouring of caring. That is my real and true blessing.

What Just Hit Me?

My dream of living in the Czech Republic came true. It just didn't last.

As of Friday, I will no longer have legal status to remain in the Czech Republic. I must leave immediately or risk a large fine and a ban on being inside one of the fifteen Schengen countries for the next five years.

I have no idea why this happened. When I signed up to teach in the Czech Republic, one of the reasons I chose the school I did was because they advertised "full visa support" to everyone. Wonderful. Moving to a foreign country is overwhelming enough. Having a knowledgeable local handle all of the paperwork in a way that is in accordance with all laws gave the whole school a value-added appeal. I relied on that.

I arrived on November 6th. I took a TEFL course and was offered a contract in December. My school applied for my visa in Berlin at the Czech Embassy on January 21st, almost three months later.

Did that leave the government enough time to process the visa? I don't know what is enough time. Is there a visa department benchmark statistic somewhere that shows how one country gets it done in two months but another country takes longer and isn't getting it done fast enough? I have no idea what is a reasonable length of time and have no way to judge. Wait, yes I do. I have to leave the country so I guess it's not fast enough!

I started to get some inkling of how serious the situation was thanks to a fantastic article in the Prague Post. I have appreciated the journalists at the New York Times for years because of how they affect the life of my nation, but this woman and this paper published an article that directly affected my life! I can't thank them enough. Being a new expat, and having relied on my employers to secure my required paperwork, this article helped me understand the danger I was in of losing the life I had built here:

http://www.praguepost.com/news/989-visa-laws-plague-teachers.html

Since I have no idea if my visa will be approved or denied, I could leave the country and fly back to the States and find out as quickly as one day later (if that's when an approval comes through) that the job, friends, apartment, neighborhood, and church I had to give up was a big "oops, you can come back in now."

The government sent registered letters to the Americans in my TEFL class to come to immigration (what the Czechs call the foreign police). We each spent an entire day there. I kept thinking surely Czech taxpayers have something better to spend their money on then harassing Americans who are here to help Czech people improve their English so that Czech people can compete more effectively for multinational jobs? Yet this seems like some city-wide or country-wide initiative trying to make some sort of political point.

The day started out very scary. All of these men had muscles the size of a Zizkov bouncer and the jail cells were right behind the door. One of my fellow teachers, who regarded this as one big lark to tell the grandchildren about one day pointed out, "look there's an American in there already!" Thanks. Not helpful.

There wasn't enough staff to process us quickly. It took from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. to get out of there. The foreign police made us sign documents in Czech I didn't understand or we couldn't leave. I know my father was rolling over in his grave because he always said "read everything thoroughly before you sign it." Sorry Dad. I couldn't read it.

The foreign police told us we were lucky the deportation prison was full otherwise we would have to go straight to the prison. Given this was the Thursday before Obama's visit, if we had gone there, do you think the American Embassy could have spared a staff member to come get us? No.

Even with the prison remark (which I couldn't tell if it was a joke since this was translated secondhand), the men in this office treated us with professionalism and kindness. They were nice. This seemed such a poor use of their time and taxpayer's money! They gave us a one-month extension to our tourist visas which I thought was to give the government more time to finish the paperwork.

So one month later, there is still no visa. I must leave. I have done all of the wailing, raging, and asking for help a person can do.

I asked all of my expat friends if they could help. I have asked Czech friends for help. One of our teachers went to the American Embassy and asked for help (they said, "sorry, we can't help that these schools lure Americans here with false promises. There is no answer.")

But I'm not sure the blame is so clear-cut on my school. The minute the way they were doing things proved not to be effective, they changed their procedures. They loophole they were using to apply for our visas in Berlin is the same one used by the American government when they apply for visas for their employees at Radio Free Europe.

My school, which is a different one than the one mentioned in the article, is not making us whole but at least they are paying for the ticket home. I spent about $5000 to come here having rented my house, sold my car, and all of my possessions. They know we have a right to be angry and have said as much.

Czechs ask me, "couldn't you just stay here and work illegally?" I can't do that. If a person works illegally, they are not free. Lately, I've been reading about a Czech patriot named Michael Kocab. He said, "a nation that does not value it's freedom, does not value itself." Well, doesn't that also apply to us as individuals as well? I need freedom.

The hardest part was trying to say goodbye to my English students when it all came down to "there is no answer." I was devastated and they couldn't understand my too-fast, emotional English! But each and everyone of them taught me something and I will value the time I had with them for the rest of my life. I will value the time I had in this beautiful, amazing country for the rest of my life. I only wish the dream could have lasted.

I want to give the last word to the journalists and paper who helped me understand that this was a bigger story than just me and my little TEFL class. Here's their editorial about the situation, aptly titled "The Dream is Over."

http://www.praguepost.com/opinion/postview/1010-postview-for-a-new-generation-the-dream-is-over.html

"The Flip Side of Fear is Understanding"

European travel entrepreneur, Rick Steves gave a powerful interview to Salon.com asking his fellow Americans to get out and see the world so they can "get over themselves." I promise you there is something, probably many things, in this article that will make you think. It's worth your attention.

My favorite part of the whole article is when he talks about how Americans and Iranians are letting their fears trump their values.

He even might have taken a swipe at David Cerny's infamous Turkish toilets depicted in the sculpture Entropa. Here's a smidgen of what Rick had to say:

Interviewer: What's the most important thing people can learn from traveling?

Rick: A broader perspective. They can see themselves as part of a family of humankind. It's just quite an adjustment to find out that the people who sit on toilets on this planet are the odd ones. Most people squat. You're raised thinking this is the civilized way to go to the bathroom. But it's not. It's the Western way to go to the bathroom. But it's not more civilized than somebody who squats. A man in Afghanistan once told me that a third of this planet eats with spoons and forks, and a third of the planet eats with chopsticks, and a third eats with their fingers. And they're all just as civilized as one another.

Click on my title to read the full article.

You Could Feel Something Like This Coming

Today the Governor of my former state of Illinois was thrown out of office without a single legislator rising to defend him. Having spent four days in Springfield, Illinois in October seeing the Lincoln sites that inspire so many Americans (including our new President), I could feel that the situation back then wasn't sustainable. He didn't have a friend left before the news came out about the Senate seat he felt was "golden."

Click on the title to read my post from back then. If you're interested in reading about the Lincoln sites that inspired Obama, please click on the Lincoln label.

Three Hours in Berlin

No, I did not tell them it should read "Welcome TO Berlin."

The Brandenburg Gate

In the strange logic peculiar to governments, several of my TEFL classmates and I needed to go to the Czech Embassy in Berlin to do paperwork to allow us to stay exactly where we are in the Czech Republic.

"Don't get into any trouble," our guide said,
"since your passports are all back at the Embassy.

It seems odd to ask thousands of foreigners such as my classmates and myself to help warm the planet by requiring a drive out-of-country four hours each way all in the name of filling out three forms. But I, for one, am willing to put up with quirky governmental requirements if it allows me to work in the Czech Republic, plus go on a delightful trip to Berlin with my compadres.

Actually, being in Berlin was a bit sobering. We had three hours of "liberty" while our paperwork was processed. The Czech Embassy is in old East Berlin. We set out on foot to see the sights from there.

In three hours, we saw three commemorations of shameful acts of the German government. If someone comes to my country's capital and has three hours there, please dear God, I pray that it will always be inspirational.

First, we saw the Brandenburg Gate. That's the inspirational part of what we saw. If it looks familiar, it's because it's probably one of the most recognizable symbols of Europe. President Kennedy, Reagan, and Clinton have all spoken at this site. Reagan's words were probably the most powerful:

"General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
We walked over to the Tiergarden and realized where we were standing was exactly where the wall had been. It was so obviously insane that this large united city was divided there for decades. I found it unfathomable. Yet when the wall was up, I found the idea of it ever coming down unimaginable.
We noticed a giant new memorial and wandered over. None of us knew anything about it so we started to explore. It's called The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. It went up in 2005. We learned later that there was a museum underground to explain it. We missed the museum because we came from the Brandenburg Gate (like I assume the majority of tourists would) and the entrance was in the opposite corner.

I couldn't imagine a more solemn theme but the design of the memorial at first brought out the playfulness in everyone. I know that's not the reaction the architect was seeking - but all of those blocks of stone cried out for tag or hide-and-seek.

The stones get larger and larger
as you enter, eventually engulfing you.

But as we spent time among the stones, the feeling of being buried underground, beneath layers and layers of ash was overwhelming and oppressive. The memorial made it's point.

It's not everyday you see the word homosexual
in a street sign.
We assumed this was
pointing to a memorial for
The Murdered Homosexuals of Europe.

I felt my usefulness
since none of these young people
would have known what the giant banners
with the word "Stasi" all over them
referred to: The German Secret Police!
It was a museum in the actual headquarters
of the Stasi describing how the
East German Government
continually spied on it's own citizens.

Before coming to the Czech Republic,
I did not realize it wasn't just the Soviets

who invaded during the Prague Spring.
It was all of Czecho's neighbors, like the GDR, too.

Trying to escape meant death.

My Communist Backyard

The nice thing about these giant courtyards surrounded by panalaky is that a Mom on the 10th floor can send her children out to play and be able to see where they are on the playground from her window the entire time.

The menacing part about living in these apartments during Communist times is that there was usually one family in each building who had to sign off on a resident getting a plum job. Their job was to keep an eye on you. Czechs say you couldn't afford to be anything but ultrapolite to them at all times. Those days are over.

I've heard more positive than negative stories about growing up in panelaky. Older Czechs valued the ability to run free
like kids did in my generation in America.
They think their grandchildren's lives are overscheduled now.

Living here does not have the feeling of living
in a housing project in America
(even if it can sometimes look like it).
The people are middle-class. It feels incredibly safe.
They fix up their apartments on the inside
and with the great light from the big windows
it can be spacious city living.
From this spot it's just 20 minutes to downtown by metro-
something any Chicagoan would envy

Tennis and basketball courts

Graffiti is a plague all over Prague.

This same style of monorail kept me occupied
for hours when I was a kid in America

All they need is some homeowner association dues, some paint,
a band, and you've got yourself a summer dance party.

Bring your own paddle and ball

There are often the tiniest of businesses on the ground floor.
I've seen manicurists, ski supplies, and convenience stores.
It makes it pretty handy to fetch a liter of milk.

I'm not sure what these are for - clotheslines, perhaps?

Ahh, People after my own heart -they can create beauty anywhere.
And in the winter, no less!

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Was living in Soviet housing on my Bucket List?



Was Living in Soviet Housing on my Bucket List?

Soviet-inspired housing, named panelaky in Czech,
because they're put up in a hurry with panels

Pretty grim, eh?
That's my balcony, third from the top,
underneath the satellite dish,
complete with dish towels on the line.

No sheets! No coffee pot! No mixing bowls! The carpet! Who knew they made carpet so thin? A mattress box that one could use to store clothes in underneath. A shower curtain held up by five working rings out of ten. Four out of five lights burnt out in my room with the last one going out the night I arrived. I half expected to find 'instant gulag gruel' packets in the cupboards. What is it exactly that Communist builders had against beauty?

But the view! Did I mention the view of the city yet? The windows in panelaky were the only kind one could buy in the Czech Republic under communism but they actually seem extravagant because of their giant size. They swing wide open too.

Then there's the convenience. There was one brand of grocery store called Billa across the street and two more at my metro stop. Grocery shopping took only fifteen minutes.

Plus, I remembered the last time I traded in a pretty cozy home for a two-bedroom concrete block apartment. And that apartment didn't even have thin carpeting - it had no carpeting. Those were two of the most incredible years of my life - graduate school, living in what Americans call 'married student housing' (whether one is married or not). It was fantastic. I wouldn't trade those years for anything.

And Daniel Glick, the author of "Monkey Dancing: A Father, Two Kids and a Journey to the Ends of the Earth," one of my all-time favorite books about travel, talks about how if you are going to see the world, you are going to have to live in some, ahem, unexpected places." My friends told me when they helped me move out that this was actually an "upscale" panelak.

So I had an hour of freak-out when I arrived. Where was my imagined historic Prague walk-up? Then acceptance and happiness kicked in. I knew I was up for it. Women could make a home in a yurt if we had too. And the people I met over the course of my month here were just as nice as could be. Click on the title to read an interesting history of panelaky. I'll show my panelaky courtyard next.

The living room with the balcony attached

Kitchen

Dining room

Bedroom #1

Bedroom #2

You could fit a lot of Christmas presents in here

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My Communist Backyard

Ladies Who Lunch

My virtual friend
and now
new 'real' friend Sherry

When I was contemplating moving to Prague, I was especially interested in the first-hand experiences of non-Czech people who were already here. That is what makes websites like Expat Blog Directory and Expat Women so helpful. If you want to read how expats in a particular country view their experience, you can find all sorts of blogs organized by country and quite often, organized down to the city level.

One of the blogs I found was Czech Off the Beaten Path written by Sher, an expatriate who had fallen in love with a Czech and moved here in 2006 to begin married life. Sher had two children in high school when she and Jiři met. Like me, she went through the whole transition of graduating them to college and downsizing her possessions for the big move to the Czech Republic. When I started following her blog, we discovered during those six months how similar our experiences were and became "virtual" friends.

Now here I am in Prague and we were finally getting to meet!

Sher took me to her favorite penzion for lunch. Named Penzion JaS, it was a genteel non-smoking spot near Dejvické, the last stop on the green line. She made me feel so welcome! Not only did she take me to lunch, she even presented me with a bottle of Bechkerovka, the "official" herbal spirit of the Czech Republic, attributed with all sorts of healing properties. I laughed because there could be no gift more "Czech!"

We gabbed non-stop and afterwards went for a short walk in the neighborhood there and enjoyed looking at Czech houses and yards. It's great to have a new American friend so far from home!

I admire how the Czechs
can get flowers to bloom
through mid-November.
How do they do that?

Mom, this picture is for you.
I knew you would be interested
in all decoration - indoor and out

Ladies who lunch, or is it:
Bloggers who brunch!

My First Czech Adventure Was Actually Vietnamese

One of the first things I wanted to do when I came to Prague was meet the two Prague bloggers who encouraged me as I planned my move across the globe. I think I started reading Michael Caroe Andersen's blog either from finding it on Al Tischler's blog (Al is a Minnesotan who worked at Radio Free Europe for a couple years - he wrote a terrific blog about Prague before moving back to America) or when Michael's blog was chosen "Expat Blog of the Month" by Expat Blog Directory in October 2007. I have links to some of my favorite Czech expat blogs on the right margin of my blog. Reading those blogs was really helpful and motivating as I planned my move.

Michael in front of a mysterious
statue meant to ward off evil spirits

Michael, who originally hails from Denmark, has a gift for inclusion and connecting people. He invited me to join a group of his friends who were off to see SAPA, the Vietnamese community that immigrant Vietnamese have created south of Prague. SAPA is famous for it's stalls of wholesale knock-off clothing merchandise for the various Vietnamese retailers around Prague, Asian food stalls, terrific inexpensive Vietnamese restaurants, even their own Vietnamese kindergarten.

Beautiful Bok Choy

Look at those long beans!
I want to experiment with cooking them.
The white blocks are fresh tofu.

Vietnamese delicacies

The best part?

Did you know that inside a chicken is a little egg production line with eggs in the making? These egg yolks taken from the inside of a chicken, before they form into full-formed eggs with shells are considered a real delicacy in countries like Vietnam and Russia because of their incredible richness. Who knew this was the best part? Not me.

There were also hundreds of fertilized duck eggs for sale in the stalls. In Vietnam, people enjoy these eggs so much people develop an opinion on when in the gestation they like to eat the egg because the fetus has developed to a certain stage by a certain day that is especially tasty. Some people like it after the tenth day, some the fifteenth, some longer. It’s all up to you.

Carp doesn't get any fresher

Frying fresh tofu

The fish in the bag were
still flopping -
Check out the knife he laid on the cardboard
for chopping off the tails and fins

Dragon fruit

Vietnamese Rice Bread

What do you see? Snakes? Bats? Octopi? Stingrays?

Our meal started with bravery. Dominic, the British organizer of our excursion, shared shots of “snakebite vodka.” I didn’t see the snake but I swear I saw a little hand in that bottle that could only have belonged to a bat! Being new to the country, I abstained. Who would want to chicken out at the last minute and spew bat juice all over one’s newest friends?

Nazdravi!

During lunch, we had one tasty Vietnamese dish after another, which we shared family style. Nickolai and his Japanese girlfriend taught me how to hold my chopsticks properly. Hold the bottom chopstick firmly. It doesn’t move. The top one is the one that does all the moving and if one grips it like a pen, it’s easy to pick things up with it.

Vietnamese and Chinese chopsticks are longer than Japanese chopsticks because it’s acceptable to reach across and pluck a choice morsel from the serving dish as you eat. No worries about Seinfeld “double dipping!” In Japan, that’s not acceptable to do. Therefore, Japanese chopsticks are shorter. By the end of the meal, my chopstick skills had evolved enough that I could pick up a solitary peanut with grace.

The people that "go"

Michael said, “You know how there are people who stay at home and people who go? These are the people that go.” Around the table we had the following nationalities represented: Danish, British, Czech, American, Dutch, Japanese, El Salvadorian, Albanian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Turkish, and Vietnamese. Many had been expatriates in multiple places.

We ended our meal with Vietnamese coffee

brewed tableside by the individual cup.

I was touched that in a Vietnamese restaurant,

in a Czech city,
there was a bit of American inspiration
in the lobby.

Thank you, Michael and friends,
for my first Czech/Vietnamese adventure!